When my boyfriend requested to maneuver in with me in 2017, I mentioned no. We would been courting for a yr, and each of our New York Metropolis leases have been about to run out. We would save a lot cash if we lived in only one place, he mentioned. However I panicked.
Our lives felt so boring. We have been on observe to comply with the standard relationship playbook. Subsequent we would get married, then we would have youngsters, and earlier than we knew it, our iron-clad routines would information us straight to a retirement residence.
As a substitute, I argued, we must always do one thing totally different. We offered 90% of our belongings, saved the remaining in his dad and mom’ basement, and moved to a brand new metropolis each month (generally staying longer and infrequently repeating a vacation spot).
For 2 years, we discovered short-term leases by way of Craigslist, Fb teams, and Airbnb. We lived in 10 cities whole, together with Chicago, Denver, Los Angeles, and Austin.
Now we’re again in Brooklyn. We’re married and have a daughter. However the classes we took from this journey nonetheless encourage how we dwell at this time.
We realized what actually issues
I at all times positioned sentimental worth on my stuff. It was onerous for me to provide away garments that not match or eliminate books, letters, and different keepsakes. However so as to journey across the nation simply, we every introduced only one checked bag and one carry-on suitcase.
We packed up objects like winter coats and household memorabilia and left them with my husband’s dad and mom. The remainder of our stuff we donated, tossed, or offered.
Jen Glantz and her husband in Austin.
Courtesy of Jen Glantz
It was onerous within the second to say goodbye to a lot. Every so often, I needed I nonetheless had an merchandise or two of clothes that I gave away or a stack of birthday playing cards I might tossed. However these emotions light quick.
Once we moved again to Brooklyn to begin a household, I turned an ultra-minimalist. I not often purchased new issues and located myself cleansing out closets and drawers a number of occasions a month to verify we weren’t holding on to issues for no purpose. The much less stuff I crowd my area with, the higher I really feel.
We needed to shake up our routines
Earlier than we did this, we walked the identical path residence daily from work, ate on the identical locations on rotation, and alternated between two or three weekend actions.
However once we began dwelling in new locations, we did not have an opportunity to kind routines. We have been so desirous to see as a lot as we may that we purposely by no means walked or drove the identical path to get to locations, and we made a rule that we could not eat at any restaurant greater than twice.
At first, it was uncomfortable. However it compelled us to strive new issues, from browsing to happening a date at a state truthful.
Whereas that is tougher to implement every day now, we create seasonal bucket lists of issues we need to do in New York Metropolis, plan a singular date night time each month, and change up our weekend dinner spots.
We realized to dwell on much less
Whereas it would look like a financially irresponsible choice to ditch your property and journey all around the nation, we really saved cash alongside the best way. In New York, we have been each paying for our separate dwelling areas. Plus, our month-to-month bills included gymnasium memberships, impulse buys, and extra.
Jen Glanz and her husband in Chicago.
Courtesy of Jen Glantz
Once we traveled, we shopped much less. We did not have area for brand spanking new clothes or knickknacks, and located low-cost leases that we shared.
We invested extra money in mutual funds and within the inventory market in order that once we lastly moved again to Brooklyn, we have been in a position to afford hire on a one-bedroom condominium that in any other case would’ve been out of our worth vary.
By that point, we have been used to dwelling with much less, and we began following a finances that helped us proceed to avoid wasting.
We actually get to know one another (and ourselves) very well
I had solely recognized my now-husband for a yr once we determined to go on this journey collectively. We every knew the model of the opposite that had longstanding routines in a well-known metropolis.
As soon as we began shifting round, we acquired to know totally different sides of one another. For the primary time, we handled the stress and challenges of navigating a brand new metropolis, determining the place to dwell, and never realizing anyone else there.
We needed to discover methods to construct our personal lives in these new locations. We would take up particular person hobbies, go to our separate business occasions, and plan one solo night time out every week in order that we may come again and speak in regards to the totally different experiences we had.
Not solely did this make our relationship stronger, however it additionally deepened our sense of self. I began to really feel extra like me once more, the individual I used to be earlier than I acquired misplaced in working my 9-to-5 and dwelling the identical day time and again. It helped me discover and embrace journey.
Regardless that we’re joyful in Brooklyn with our two-year-old daughter, that is one thing we’ll positively do once more along with her earlier than she turns 18.
Jen Glantz is the founding father of Bridesmaid for Rent, the writer of “Lastly the Bride: Discovering Love after Strolling down Everybody Else’s Aisle,” and the creator of The Choose-Me-Up publication. Comply with her adventures on Instagram @jenglantz.
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